Martin Firstbrook
BA (Hons), PgDP, MBACP (Accred)
 

Relationships matter deeply. Precisely because of this, they have a way of exposing our vulnerabilities, longings, and unexamined patterns.

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When relationships become difficult, it is rarely because one person is "the problem." More often, it is because two histories and two ways of protecting ourselves are colliding under pressure. This can be painful, confusing, and, particularly when trust has been damaged, deeply destabilising.

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I start from the perspective that relationship difficulties, while painful, can become opportunities for greater understanding - of yourself, your partner, and the dynamics that shape how you relate. This kind of work is not about assigning blame or deciding who is right. It is about slowing things down enough to notice what keeps happening between you, what each of you brings into the relationship, and how those patterns might change for the better.​​

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Working together, I help each of you understand your own patterns of thinking, feeling, and responding and how these interact with your partner's. The aim is not to smooth over differences, but to understand them well enough that they no longer automatically escalate or shut things down. 

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Alongside exploring what lies beneath recurring conflicts or disconnection, sessions are often practical and grounded in what is happening in real time. This may involve working with live moments of tension, experimenting with different ways of speaking or listening, and noticing how each of you responds under emotional pressure. Many couples find that small but genuine shifts in understanding create changes that feel more lasting than any technique.​

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How the work is structured

My approach involves a combination of joint sessions and occasional individual sessions. Individual sessions create space for personal reflection, emotional regulation, and a deeper understanding of your own history and relational patterns. Joint sessions then draw on this to support clearer communication and more conscious relating between you.

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I do not take sides. I work to support both partners in developing greater awareness, emotional responsibility, and real choice in how they respond to one another — not just in sessions, but in the relationship itself.

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Getting started

Beginning couples therapy takes courage,  particularly when things feel raw or uncertain. If you'd like to find out more before committing to anything, you're welcome to get in touch with any questions via WhatsApp or email.  If you decide to move forward, I offer an initial consultation so that I can understand your situation better and we can get a sense of whether working together feels like the right fit.

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