Martin Firstbrook
BA (Hons), PgDP, MBACP (Accred)
 

Relationships are central to our lives, so why are they so difficult?! 

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I start from the perspective that relationship challenges, whilst uncomfortable, are opportunities for us to understand our partners and ourselves better.  Although difficult to see initially, these difficulties can often provide the raw material for personal growth and a deepening of connection. However, we are rarely taught how to explore and understand our differences and challenges in a way that leads to this growth and depth. 

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Couples counselling is different from individual counselling and therapy because the primary focus is on "the between", the dynamic of the relationship itself.  I support you as a couple by helping you to deeply understand yourselves as individuals and how your own patterns of thinking and acting impact on the relationship.  

 

I do not take sides.  I support each of you to notice your own patterns of relating, how your combined patterns of relating are affecting the relationship and what you can do differently to break the relational patterns you are in.  In addition to supporting you to explore and understand what is underneath the surface of your difficulties, the joint sessions can often be very practical, working with live issues and experimenting with different approaches of relating to one another. ​

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The Process

In my approach, couples therapy involves both individual sessions and periodic joint sessions. Individual sessions facilitate personal reflection, growth, and deeper understanding of your emotional and behavioural patterns. Joint sessions then integrate these insights constructively into your relationship.  The following sets out how the sessions typically unfold from the initial session onwards:

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Early Assessment and Goal Planning:

• Joint Session (Initial Consultation): Meet together initially to explore relational challenges and identify goals for therapy.

• Individual Sessions (History and Themes): One individual session per partner to explore personal history, relational patterns, and identify key development themes.

• Individual Sessions (Development Plan): One or two individual session per partner to collaboratively create a personalised development plan informed by personal history, identified themes, and personality assessments.

• Joint Session (Themes and Goals): Meet jointly to review and integrate individual development goals, clarify shared understanding, and agree on relational objectives.

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Ongoing Individual and Relationship Development:

• Individual Sessions: Weekly or fortnightly sessions per partner to progress personal development goals, enhance self-awareness, and deepen insight into relationship dynamics.

• Joint Sessions: Held every three to four weeks (frequency adjusted based on individual session frequency) to share personal insights, reinforce mutual understanding, address misunderstandings, and actively practise new relational skills.​

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Next Steps

Contact me via email or text to request an initial consultation appointment. 

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