Martin Firstbrook
BA (Hons), PgDP, MBACP (Accred)
 

Please note - My approach tends to suit couples where both partners are willing to reflect on their own patterns and take responsibility for how they contribute to the relationship.  It may be less suitable where one partner is primarily seeking validation, persuasion, or a decision about whether the relationship should continue.

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Relationships matter deeply — and precisely because of this, they have a way of exposing our vulnerabilities, longings, and unexamined patterns.​  When relationships become difficult, it is rarely because one person is “the problem”. More often, it is because two histories and two ways of protecting ourselves are colliding under pressure.

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I start from the perspective that relationship difficulties, while painful, can become opportunities for greater understanding — of yourself, your partner, and the dynamics that shape how you relate.  This kind of work is not about assigning blame or deciding who is right. It is about slowing things down enough to notice what keeps happening between you, what each of you brings into the relationship, and how those patterns might be shifted over time.

 

I support you by helping each of you understand your own patterns of thinking, feeling, and responding, and how these interact with your partner’s patterns. The aim is not to smooth over differences, but to understand them well enough that they no longer automatically escalate or shut things down.  ​This process involves curiosity, accountability, and a willingness to look at one’s own contribution to the relationship, even when that feels uncomfortable.​

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Alongside exploring what lies beneath recurring conflicts or disconnection, joint sessions are often practical and grounded in what is happening in real time between you.  This may involve working with live moments of tension, experimenting with different ways of speaking or listening, and noticing how each of you reacts under emotional pressure. The intention is not perfection, but learning.

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My approach to couples therapy involves a combination of joint sessions and periodic individual sessions.  Individual sessions create space for reflection, emotional regulation, and deeper understanding of personal history and relational patterns. Joint sessions then draw on this work to support clearer communication and more conscious relating between you.  I do not take sides. Instead, I work to support both partners in developing greater awareness, emotional responsibility, and choice in how they respond to one another.

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Contact me via email or text to request an initial consultation appointment. 

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